Tell Me What You Think of This Idea

We haven't a title for it yet, but my friend and I decided to make a story together. He had the original idea, but isn't a big writer, and I am. So we spent two and a half hours, and got four pages of scattered, and repeated notes, lol.

Basically, what it is, is it revolves around how the pilgrims first went to America to break from British rule. Except, in this case, there's another reason. They couldn't use magick freely in Britain. Only the lords could without consequence. The pilgrims thought this wrong and unfair, seeing that their magick was a blessing from the five moons.

There are five moons, each one representing a certain magick and its counterpart. The fifth moon representing a single type that is only seen when every hundred years or so.

About a year or two before the America Revolution occurs is where the main story takes place. There's been a magickal disease going around called 'the Burning', which stops people from sleeping at different intervals, depending on who they are, how bad they get it, etc. Though they get sick, that is the main issue. The disease is uncurable, and drives the person mad. They can still sleep, just only a few hours a day or so.

But so this boy (not sure on name yet), who's parents died from the Burning, was saved in turn. He is able to sleep enough to function, and at age 9, was sent to be taken care of by his father's smithsman. When he's 13-14, his master decides to head to America for better business.

The boy soon finds himself torn. He's born British, but he believes in the Patriots' rights and their demands. At last he breaks away, and his newfound friends convince him into taking part in the Boston Tea Party, and then joining the war.

As time passes, he comes to discover the truth about magick, and who he is. He must face fighting familiar faces, and finally decide just what it is he wants to do.


I don't want to give any real detail away for two reasons. 1 - ruins the story, and 2 - though I doubt anyone here would, I'd rather not risk having someone take it anymore than I already I am.

In any case, tell me what you think.