| Story time
- |
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
 Smile |
|
 Posted:
Sat Nov 03, 2007 5:23 am |
Guest
Karma: 0
Usergroups:
None
Items
 |
|
Story time
Story time roflmao
My story i am in the progress of making..
The War Of The Guns.
Tom shouted 'Watch out!' The guns were pounding at me.I jumped out of the way but i was shot in the chest luckly it wasnt the heart.I Thought of hitler and what he had done to his men and our country.Then a idea struck me but i didnt have acsess to the rocket launcher.I had to talk to my captain but i couldnt.Ge was half a mile over the other battlefield.It is a fatal decsion.But is one time or never.I thought i should take the risk and run for my country to my captain.I ran as fast as i could but someone shot my leg so i was crippled and was not able to run that fast,I must get some help there was a trench near by and i ran too it there was only one person and he was wounded,The others must of bled to death,
|
|
|
 |
|
| Smile |
|
Posted:
Sat Nov 03, 2007 5:41 am |
Guest
Karma: 0
Usergroups:
None
Items
|
|
Tom shouted 'Watch out!' The guns were pounding at me.I jumped out of the way but i was shot in the chest luckly it wasnt the heart.I Thought of hitler and what he had done to his men and our country.Then a idea struck me but i didnt have acsess to the rocket launcher.I had to talk to my captain but i couldnt.Ge was half a mile over the other battlefield.It is a fatal decsion.But is one time or never.I thought i should take the risk and run for my country to my captain.I ran as fast as i could but someone shot my leg so i was crippled and was not able to run that fast,I must get some help there was a trench near by and i ran too it there was only one person and he was wounded,The others must of bled to death,I helped him up and got a medic from a trench about a couple of feet away.I was scared...Neverous..What if i didnt make it i kept thinking to myself but there was no time for thinking no time for mucking about no time for anything but to think about getting to my captain.Tom came running after me beacuse he thought i was crazy..I told him the plan..and he said 'It's too risky..' And i said 'Well life is full of risks and this is one of them' I threw some grenades over to the machine guns i heard someone yelp,Then i grinned.I wonder what the germans are thinking.Thats what i kept in my head for quite a few hours.I laughed at the thought of hitler trying to blow us up but he blew his own men up but that wouldnt be fair on the soldiers..Well enough of that talk we gotta go find captain Ryan...I spotted him with my binoculars and we all started to run too him.Accept the wounded man could run fast.I thought he broke his leg or something.But we got to the captain in Half an hour.I said too him 'If i am aloud to use the rocket launcher i know how we could defeat the machine guns that are killing everybody and it wont be a great loss to the peoples.I know there is a risk that we miss and we draw attention but there is no time like ive said before its now or never.' i finally presauded him too let me use it and the other man get off.I missed once but the second time i done it without getting hit! I was so happy i could do anything.But now we have to do i the other side without getting killed so me and captain had to take the rocket launcher over to the other side.I looked behind and see what the others were doing they werent there than i looked in front of me and ryan and they were at the other side.What if they got hit.And guess what Tom got hit and by the time we got there he would be dead i told captain and we decided to wait for a while and pray to god he had a went to heven.Tom never done anything wrong to anyone he was a nice friendly man.I had a quick flashback of all the good times together then i heard Ryan say 'Wake up!Wake up god damn it!'.Woah i must of fell asleep just then.
Added more =P
|
|
|
|
|
| Shandris |
|
Posted:
Sat Nov 03, 2007 5:43 am |
Guest
Karma: 0
Usergroups:
None
Items
|
|
i believe this is the wrong section for this 
|
|
|
|
|
| elephant_lost |
|
Posted:
Sat Nov 03, 2007 6:06 am |
Guest
Karma: 0
Usergroups:
None
Items
|
|
Yeah shouldn't this be in the Writer's Block?
|
|
|
|
|
| Smile |
|
Posted:
Sat Nov 03, 2007 8:41 am |
Guest
Karma: 0
Usergroups:
None
Items
|
|
idc tbh
|
|
|
|
|
| Shandris |
|
Posted:
Sat Nov 03, 2007 8:46 am |
Guest
Karma: 0
Usergroups:
None
Items
|
|
well you should care...also using normal words wouldnt hurt you
|
|
|
|
|
| Smile |
|
Posted:
Sat Nov 03, 2007 9:01 am |
Guest
Karma: 0
Usergroups:
None
Items
|
|
I dont have to do what ever you want i can do what i want
|
|
|
|
|
| elephant_lost |
|
Posted:
Sat Nov 03, 2007 9:11 am |
Guest
Karma: 0
Usergroups:
None
Items
|
|
Smile she didn't TELL you to do anything
And don't be rude to her
|
|
|
|
|
| Shandris |
|
Posted:
Sat Nov 03, 2007 9:21 am |
Guest
Karma: 0
Usergroups:
None
Items
|
|
-.- whatever...but next time dont ask me why i dont like you
|
|
|
|
|
| Cecil the Paladin |
|
Posted:
Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:47 pm |
Sphere Hunter
Age: 14
Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 1972
Karma: 144
Location: Oregon
Usergroups:
Item Warriors
Rare Hunters
The Tavern
127610 Gil
Items
    
more...
|
|
The story makes very little sense.........
|
_________________
Be a ninja with me:
Silent Murder!
Behold the dancing milk!
See, Crazed loves me!
| crazed4now wrote: |
| whatever, you're dumb and i hate you. |
|
|
|
|
 seifer |
|
Posted:
Tue Nov 06, 2007 12:52 am |
Highwind
Age: 22
Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 7125
Karma: 734
Location: High above the mucky muck
Usergroups:
Funender Support
Justice Knights
Magazine Staff
10487182 Gil
Items
   
more...
|
|
| Smile wrote: |
| I dont have to do what ever you want i can do what i want |
just to be clear i hate english (as it is in a class). the whole idea of going over grammer and all that other crap seems silly to me now, but thankfully i did retain some of it. Afterall, without language, and the proper use of it, all of civilzations ideas and breakthroughs would be lost. now that that is out of the way...
First off, punctuation is a plus (im talking about things other than the sparse periods you have). Second, spaces after said periods are a good call if you want people to read anything you write and even more so, take you seriously.
other than that i dont have much to say because i didn't read it. revise it probably? and maybe use paragraphs or something.
if i came of as being rude, i apologize, i just hate when people are rude for no reason, like you were with the post i quoted. good luck and don't stop writing, just try and do better.
|
_________________
If we don’t make it alive,
Well it’s a hell of a good day to die.
All our light that shines so strong
Only lasts for so long. |
|
|
|
| |
