I really just wanted to talk about it... no need for advice... so I thought I would put it here so only those in the mood for something serious would be troubled to hear about it ^_^;
So my girlfriend just broke up with me
How it happened/History
Hidden:
We had a long discussion the previous night about a lot of things... ok... first things first. Before we ever got into the relationship I was nothing but 100% honest with her... I told her that I was high maintenance and complicated, and that I was trying to work through some things and I had a lot of history and damage... she knew exactly what she was getting into... I told her that I was fine staying friends... and she was the one that said "im ready to be with you lets be together"
Well we had a lot of fights because we communicate so differently... (I feel like she is the one with the problem but im sure she feels the same way about me, so I figure its just how differently we see things...) So inevitably she would do something that hurt me... I would try to tell her... she would argue with me instead of trying to understand me... and then when it was all said and done she would say "ooooh now I see your point" and this cycle just kept happening over and over... I tried to "take a brake from her" for a while to help us figure out our feelings and suchAnd when this happened I didn't just decide it and say "well too bad for you" I talked to her about it, and even offered to wait till the next day to talk some more before we decided anything. She wouldn't do that, so I stayed up until 3am talking to her about it. but SHE said we should try to work it out and that its not a big deal. I was surprised because I thought we had just almost broke up but she said that she didn't mind that I was so high maintenance and she didn't see this as such a big thing.
So we would have these fights, and I would apologize for some things and seriously change for her and she would apologize for some things and we would move on... well these fights kept happening and they would get worse and worse but we would figure out more and we would both change a little...
She had times where she said that she feels like she can't do anything right and its so hard to be with me and that nothing she does is ever good enough for me. Well that made me really genuinely sad... so I made a conscious effort to tell her every time she did something that I liked or that I think she did well and tell her how much I loved her from that time on...
Well tonight she drops a bomb on me... she says "Im not happy, I feel like I can never do anything right and im always having to walk around on egg shells around you. Like everything I do is under a microscope. I was like yeah I know the feeling (in my mind) because I was like... I try so hard to make you not feel that way... and its not like this is a surprise... well she doesn't even give me the opportunity to talk about it. She just said "I think I need some time apart. and said that she had already made up her mind... So I told her "well im hurt, I love you, and call me again whenever you feel like talking to me" and I hung up. I mean, there was nothing I could say... and I was so angry and hurt that after that I didn't have anything good to say.
So she calls me back! I was hesitant to pick up the phone but I did... and she takes that time to explain to me more how awful I made her feel and why she is breaking up with me... so we break up again and still I never got to speak on the subject...
So, I should probably be really angry and hurt by this... but... im not... I kinda feel like... im free... is that ok? is that a good feeling to feel? I don't know... but I know, I can honestly still be friends with her tomorrow and not really care if she has feelings for me or not... I just think thats weird... maybe im a sociopath... I don't know... so yeah thats the story.
Sorry to hear that, it's never fun breaking up with someone you loved.
Feeling free is perfectly fine. You came out of a difficult relationship in which you over stretched yourself. Changing you core being is pretty hard and physically/mentally demanding. I think it is just the realization that you can now be yourself 100% without having to conform the the ideals of someone else. This takes off the mental load and you get that free feeling. Also you are "free" to pursue other relationships when you are ready.
RIP Kurt von D. Father figure to me, friend, and all around good human being. (July 22nd, 2010).
~~
And so castles made of sand melts into the sea, eventually
~~
I'm tired of wasting all my precious time
You've got to be all mine, all mine
Foxy lady
~~
You should try and click a couple ads on Funender each day to generate some revenue.
~~
crazed4now
Posted:
Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:54 am
Tetra Elemental
Age: 21
Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Posts: 28,566
Liked Posts: 38
Karma: 1352
Location: probably out killin' peoples
It kinda sound like my friend maryanne and mine's relationship. A very... horrible situation. When i stopped being friends with her, i had the same feeling too. Like.... i was SUPPOSED to be upset, but wasn't. For the first time in a long time... i felt like i could smile.
Let me tell you something, that relationship was like drowning. Yeah, it's fun to be in the water, but not if you're dying. And now... i can breathe again.
Mabus was very right about it being ok to feel free and it seems like crazed and him have done a good job at that so I will discuss about how you feeling you should be upset, but are not.
Sis, if you don't feel upset then that is a good thing. If you can salvage a friendship, that is always a good thing. From what I know about you that just shows your loving nature and how it spreads to you loving close to, if not everyone.
Sorry to hear that, it's never fun breaking up with someone you loved.
Feeling free is perfectly fine. You came out of a difficult relationship in which you over stretched yourself. Changing you core being is pretty hard and physically/mentally demanding. I think it is just the realization that you can now be yourself 100% without having to conform the the ideals of someone else. This takes off the mental load and you get that free feeling. Also you are "free" to pursue other relationships when you are ready.
I wouldn't say your a total sociopath
cant add much to that XD
some people also like knowing they can have the fresh relationship/single without strings feeling too
some people miss that when they are in a relationship
Though seriously if Im out walking around in the night to ASDA with the pedo/rapist/murderer/psycho of questionable sanity vampy....who do I have to be afraid of? XD
Kuro Ryu wrote:
A warlock? Arc? ... I've heard weirder things about you to be fair actually XD
Yeah I like what Crazed said about the water lol... but yeah I think you were all right, It was just so exhausting to put that much effort into it that im just happy its over
well, i'm sorry it turned out like that, but i'm happy you're feeling ok now ^^ sometimes ppl just jump into a relationship because they think they like each other, i mean, they are not sure...i'm not saying that's your case, but it could be, you could not be consious about it ^^ it's ok to be free, because you went through a lot and it's like taking a deep breath of fresh air ^^
You eminate not only beauty, but a distinct knowledge of the inner workings of the mind, that even the greatest scholars on earth would be envious of. You walk on the water of life on the shoes of perfection and cast aside the sheer idiocity of the masses of inferiority
Do you like Japanese stuff, no matter how insane? Then join Sakura no Ai ^^ throw me a PM and I'll gladly add you ^_~
lol, well it's just not good when you think you have to change for the sake of someone else, that means that person can't have you the way you are...so just be glad you're ok ^^ i mean, there's gotta be someone out there who loves you just the way you are! =D
You eminate not only beauty, but a distinct knowledge of the inner workings of the mind, that even the greatest scholars on earth would be envious of. You walk on the water of life on the shoes of perfection and cast aside the sheer idiocity of the masses of inferiority
Do you like Japanese stuff, no matter how insane? Then join Sakura no Ai ^^ throw me a PM and I'll gladly add you ^_~
You eminate not only beauty, but a distinct knowledge of the inner workings of the mind, that even the greatest scholars on earth would be envious of. You walk on the water of life on the shoes of perfection and cast aside the sheer idiocity of the masses of inferiority
Do you like Japanese stuff, no matter how insane? Then join Sakura no Ai ^^ throw me a PM and I'll gladly add you ^_~
there's no one in this world that knows everything about you, but yourself...and when you decide to let someone in, then that person should know it too ^^ but, you've gotta choose carefully
You eminate not only beauty, but a distinct knowledge of the inner workings of the mind, that even the greatest scholars on earth would be envious of. You walk on the water of life on the shoes of perfection and cast aside the sheer idiocity of the masses of inferiority
Do you like Japanese stuff, no matter how insane? Then join Sakura no Ai ^^ throw me a PM and I'll gladly add you ^_~
errr sort of? but i noticed early ^^ i mean i wasn't with that person for long before i noticed there were things about him i didn't like and vice versa...so prolly no one ended up hurt ^^ ...well, he did...*sigh*
You eminate not only beauty, but a distinct knowledge of the inner workings of the mind, that even the greatest scholars on earth would be envious of. You walk on the water of life on the shoes of perfection and cast aside the sheer idiocity of the masses of inferiority
Do you like Japanese stuff, no matter how insane? Then join Sakura no Ai ^^ throw me a PM and I'll gladly add you ^_~
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
<from me
<from rukie
< from shandy
