| poem by 3 Hells
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 3 Hells |
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 Posted:
Sun Jan 07, 2007 8:51 pm |
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poem by 3 Hells
By:3 Hells
Death will come.
Pain will conker
Suffering is going to kill every one.
If you worry than I feal sorry your going to die right now today.
Whats tomorrow whithout sorrow.
Hatred still builds up in me.
I don't care if I scare, sorrow is going to conker me.
I'll be waiting for Death to be so i could be free.
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Posted:
Sun Jan 07, 2007 11:29 pm |
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you are to young to be writing about stuff like that(to feel that way i mean)
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| Raven |
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Posted:
Mon Jan 08, 2007 8:18 am |
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try posting this in the Writers block forum. I think it will get more popularity over there than here.
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Posted:
Mon Jan 08, 2007 9:14 am |
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Yes, this should be moved over.
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| nbetweener |
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Posted:
Mon Jan 08, 2007 11:23 pm |
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It should also be spellchecked. Expressing yourself is good, if not great, but you ought to make sure others can understand it. It isn't bad, over all, especially considering the author's age, but it really needs some more thought. Things are said which make no sense, even poetically. With more thought and time, this could be a good, if dark, piece.
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Posted:
Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:45 am |
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Well, it doesn't seem to be a haiku to me.....
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| Shandris |
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Posted:
Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:19 pm |
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| nbetweener wrote: |
| Expressing yourself is good, if not great, but you ought to make sure others can understand it. |
not always...i mean look how many poems are there from famous writers but most of ppl dun have a clue what they wanted to say...poetry is saying something by saying something else...using all this figures and stuff to hide the real meaning...if you would write plain simple things with obvious meaning its not really poetry is it? even if it would rhyme
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| nbetweener |
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Posted:
Thu Jan 11, 2007 9:27 pm |
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Point made, and taken. However, that is my take on it. If you are going to publish something, even in as small an arena as a forum, it's clarity is important.
Yes, there are poems out there with truly obscure meanings, but look at the best in the business. Shakespeare's sonnets speak clearly to me across the centuries; Robert Frost's work is seldom vague. Maya Angelou communicates with crystal clarity when she wants to, and is, at other times more mystic in her choice of words. All said and done, the best still get the message across without the stumbling blocks of inaccurate or vague word choice hampering them.
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| Shandris |
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Posted:
Fri Jan 12, 2007 2:14 am |
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Shakespeare may be clear to you...but trust me there are ppl that have problems even with him...lol
some pl understand poetry better some worse, some dun get it at all..its hard to make something that would be clear but also good...
actually you might be right that when posting a poem on forum such place as here the language should be easy to understand...but well honestly i dun consider that as a real poetry....i wrote few stuff myself but i would never ever call it a poetry..cause according to what i consider one to be, its way to amateur and poor written..i prefer novels or short stories lol
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