| Lack of Discipline
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 Orothe |
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Posted:
Wed Nov 12, 2008 12:42 pm |
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Of course you wouldn't hit an infant... However, you SHOULD be around the kid most of the time... So as long as they don't do it again, that's all that matters. They'll grow up, and in time, will understand the reasons behind your actions, along with the concept/purpose of discipline.
I'm not saying physical harm should be the main discipline choice, but it is effective when it comes to severe actions. Time-outs andtaking things away only go so far.
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My Romantics shall be thy blade!!!
| Orothe wrote: |
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| Orothe wrote: |
| A rare gem such as yourself should never be given freely to those that would otherwise tarnish such beauty... |
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| pinataheart |
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Posted:
Wed Nov 12, 2008 2:45 pm |
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You don't understand. At ages 0-6 is when a child develops their trust of their parent. If you spank the child during those times, it will not understand why and just fear you, once the child becomes 7, that distrust or trust is locked in and cannot be changed until adulthood.
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| Orothe |
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Posted:
Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:38 pm |
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I was spanked and the only distrust I show is to my father... From his drinking and cheating.. So I have to say, at least, that your information is the 'normal' and not the reaction from everyone... Then that brings up, what percentage of people are 'normal'?
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My Romantics shall be thy blade!!!
| Orothe wrote: |
| Beauty can only be defined as the essence you hold, and not by the appearence you give... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| A rare gem such as yourself should never be given freely to those that would otherwise tarnish such beauty... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| Promise's are just words that people cling to in hopes that they are set in stone, when in reality, are as flexible as the air itself that carried those very words... |
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| pinataheart |
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Posted:
Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:57 pm |
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1-6 is different from 7+ age groups. 1-6 is more fragile, and trust decreases both by intensity AND frequency of spankings. Meaning: if you didn't get many spankings from ages 1-6, then the effects will be minimal.
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| Arc wrote: |
| nah we just know that you are a warm loving person filled with sweet things and happynessXD |
| MoA wrote: |
I've said it once before, and I'll say it again, the world really needs more people like you. |
My FFT chars:
Rikki- Thief
Luna- Ninja
Crazed- Yllw Chocobo
Arc- Blk Chocobo |
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| Cecil the Paladin |
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Posted:
Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:54 pm |
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I hate it when people say that if there is something wrong with the kid, then there must be something wrong with how the parents raised them. True, this holds up in most cases with parents who are too lenient, but sometimes they choose to screw up their own lives and have very successful parents.
Anyways, to my life. I'm the youngest in my family, turning 15 next month, and my parents don't hand anything to me, but they really aren't uptight either. I haven't been physically punished (spankings) since I was 9, as my parents saw it was losing affect, and creating resentment more then respect. It did teach me though, that when I do something wrong, there will be punishment, regardless. To be honest, it has kind of kept me on the straight and narrow so to speak, and I am just kind of a nice guy (so I've been sold).
I can't say that physical punishment has been all good though. Destroyed my self-confidence for the most part, thus making me not much of a risk taker in the least.
My parents in the end trust me though. They trust me to be out after dark, as long as I'm back by a certain time of course. I'm allowed to roam town by myself, as I have created a trust that I am not just going to break.
My generation has its share of spoiled brats just like very other, there is no changing if bad parenting happens. What matters if what you are going to do, not what happened to you.
My family for the most part is just a family of screw ups to be blunt. Dad who can barely hold a job, mom who can't work due to medical issues, 21 year old brother with no motivation to work, and my 17 year old sister is still doing pretty good, as we are learning from our dysfunctional family.
It is just a matter of who you are, and how your parents choose to raise you. Though parents tend to seem to favor the youngest, it is only because by then, the experimentation is over, and they know how they want to raise their child. My family doesn't have enough money for me to just run off and buy a horse or something, so I can't really say I know what it is like to be spoiled.
Everybody is raised differently, and everyone has different beliefs on how a child should be raised. I have personally learned so much from my parents mistakes, that I could practically write a book on how to properly raise a child (okay, maybe a little over the top, but you get the point). My brother was spoiled, and now he expects to be spoiled the rest of his life, and my parents learned from that. Now me and my sister don't get anything near spoiled, so I could never imagine what it is like for mommy and daddy to get you whatever you want when you want it.
Anyways, that is all I really have to say on the matter of just about everything this thread is covering.
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| pinataheart |
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Posted:
Sat Nov 15, 2008 12:54 am |
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Well, my beliefs are based on psychology, which is a proven science because it follows scientific methods, and the development of a child's mind is known, therefore, raising said child should complement those times of development.
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Like stories about magic? Read Cheeky Demons!
Join Funender Gardens!
| Arc wrote: |
| nah we just know that you are a warm loving person filled with sweet things and happynessXD |
| MoA wrote: |
I've said it once before, and I'll say it again, the world really needs more people like you. |
My FFT chars:
Rikki- Thief
Luna- Ninja
Crazed- Yllw Chocobo
Arc- Blk Chocobo |
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| Orothe |
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Posted:
Sat Nov 15, 2008 10:58 am |
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Well just taking things away is similar to a time out, which may teach the kid "no matter what you do, in time, you'll be fine."... And spanking too much is abuse, not discipline... So you can't really win.
Though the kid may chose to do bad things just because that's what they like, I still say 90% of the time, it's based on how they were raised... And parents now days are being too light on kids.
|
My Romantics shall be thy blade!!!
| Orothe wrote: |
| Beauty can only be defined as the essence you hold, and not by the appearence you give... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| A rare gem such as yourself should never be given freely to those that would otherwise tarnish such beauty... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| Promise's are just words that people cling to in hopes that they are set in stone, when in reality, are as flexible as the air itself that carried those very words... |
|
| |
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