| Lack of Discipline
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 Orothe |
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Posted:
Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:00 pm |
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Lack of Discipline
The lack of discipline in today's world is insane. I know "parents know best" but favoritism is an ever-increasing issue that many are either ignorant of, or they just don't care.
Too many kids and teens do what they want, when they want, and how they want. Is this the parents' fault? Is the drama in the media to blame?
A perfect example is my youngest sister, Kerri. Almost 15. When my parents owed me $350, they bought her a $500 horse for her. She has, in the past two years, rode with my younger sister meagan's boyfriend, who is 23, and had sex with him, had stolen from a friend, have been caught smoking, and the most recent was getting caught stealing from a store. She had to get handcuffed, rode in the back of the cop car to the police station, where I had to pick her up, and all that my parents did was ground her from the phone for 3 days...
Now i know this seems like sibling rivalry, but it isn't. This is just the final straw. There are many kids who do not understand consequences, or they just don't care.
Does anybody else get outraged by this? Has anybody else seen this happen first-hand?
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My Romantics shall be thy blade!!!
| Orothe wrote: |
| Beauty can only be defined as the essence you hold, and not by the appearence you give... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| A rare gem such as yourself should never be given freely to those that would otherwise tarnish such beauty... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| Promise's are just words that people cling to in hopes that they are set in stone, when in reality, are as flexible as the air itself that carried those very words... |
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| erik |
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Posted:
Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:12 pm |
Highwind
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I have seen this my friend he is the middle child they expect the most from him b/c he is the least screwed up. His brother has been kicked out of every high school in the region done every drug known to man got in to more fights then anyone i know. then there is his younger sister she sells her self for drugs and or money has been caught buying drugs in class and has been kicked out of 2 or 3 schools so fare and the worst his parents have done is say don't do that again. but if he does stuff like that the come down on him hard.
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| T-Rex |
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Posted:
Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:14 pm |
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well orothe, you are 18 so you can move out. If you don't like how your parents are doing things... you cant do much about it.
why did your parents borrow $350 from you anyway?
do both your parents work? have they always worked (aka did they both work when you were much younger before your sis was born)?
i dont feel a lack of disipline is the problem. children learn pretty fast what they can get away with and if the parents dont act the way they should, it continues. eventually the parents feel that the child is "too far gone" to be helped and they care even less. im not saying this is whats happening in your family, but its possible judging by the information youve given me.
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| Orothe |
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Posted:
Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:16 am |
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Uh, if the child 'get's away with it', isn't that because the parents lacked discipline the first time? I'm just saying, your description of the problem sounds a lot like discipline problems.
They borrowed 400 for a house payment. One month, mom didn't get as many hours as planned so they asked to borrow it. Paid me back 30, then 20, then got kerri the horse and I never saw another dime.
As for being 18, yes, I could move out. But being in college still, I can only work minimum wage, which isn't enough to live on. (Rent, utilities, Insurance, taxes, car payment, food, ect.)
And yes, both of my parents work, and always have.
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My Romantics shall be thy blade!!!
| Orothe wrote: |
| Beauty can only be defined as the essence you hold, and not by the appearence you give... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| A rare gem such as yourself should never be given freely to those that would otherwise tarnish such beauty... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| Promise's are just words that people cling to in hopes that they are set in stone, when in reality, are as flexible as the air itself that carried those very words... |
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| T-Rex |
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Posted:
Thu Oct 30, 2008 12:23 pm |
Emerald Weapon
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well my thought was, being as both your parents work, maybe they feel guilty to a degree. and since you are older and more or less can take care of yourself (and the fam with them borrowing money from you) they spoil your little sister and let things slide more.
yeah its a lack of discipline, but the motivation for that might be guilt for them not being around or whatever.
ive seen it tons before so thats why it sticks out in my mind. it obviously might not be your problem.
do you commute to school now or do you stay in the dorms?
also, there are a number of jobs on campus (usuall) that you could apply for. they probably dont pay "great" but it looks good for the future and you dont have to worry about extra driving so you'll save money that way.
also, id make it known to my parents that you are still expecting your $350 and theres no reason you shouldnt get it. and being 18 you can indeed take them to court if you so choose to (small claims court).
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| Orothe |
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Posted:
Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:23 pm |
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Heh, nah... I commute. It's only bout 20 miles to get there. Dorms woulda cost me inbetween 5 and 7 grand.
That sounds reasonable, but i'm afraid my sister is only going to get worse.
I am working on a financial plan.
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My Romantics shall be thy blade!!!
| Orothe wrote: |
| Beauty can only be defined as the essence you hold, and not by the appearence you give... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| A rare gem such as yourself should never be given freely to those that would otherwise tarnish such beauty... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| Promise's are just words that people cling to in hopes that they are set in stone, when in reality, are as flexible as the air itself that carried those very words... |
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| Hellmouth |
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Posted:
Sun Nov 09, 2008 12:17 am |
Golden Chocobo
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stupid children should be beaten.
I was and look how i turned out.....
Well atleast I dont get do stupid *, or atleast get caught doing it. And if i do, I have enough sense to admit instead of perpetuating it.
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| Tifa16 |
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Posted:
Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:26 am |
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I totally agree there's a lack of discipline my parents never let me get away with anything except when I had to defend myself at school(Which was pretty often). When I did something really bad like stealing I got spanked. The problem with today's society is that parents can't spank their kids but even if you do that then child services will come and take them away claiming abuse where if they misbehave they'll be given a time out. Time outs, corners, or the whole naughty step thing doesn't work its telling the child whatever they do five minutes in a corner or on a step will be all they get. Look at all the out of control teens you see on youtube its because they're parents pretty much don't care what they do.
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| Hellmouth |
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Posted:
Sun Nov 09, 2008 4:23 pm |
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| Tifa16 wrote: |
| I totally agree there's a lack of discipline my parents never let me get away with anything except when I had to defend myself at school(Which was pretty often). When I did something really bad like stealing I got spanked. The problem with today's society is that parents can't spank their kids but even if you do that then child services will come and take them away claiming abuse where if they misbehave they'll be given a time out. Time outs, corners, or the whole naughty step thing doesn't work its telling the child whatever they do five minutes in a corner or on a step will be all they get. Look at all the out of control teens you see on youtube its because they're parents pretty much don't care what they do. |
And when i say beaten, i dont mean bruised and stuff.A little smack on the hiney does some good.XD
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| T-Rex |
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Posted:
Sun Nov 09, 2008 4:45 pm |
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honestly, spankings and timeouts are pretty silly. you jsut take something away for a period. like the tv privliges. kids today watch tv a lot i would imagine, way more than i did as a kid so take it away for a day or a weekend and after a while, "give it back to them early for "good behavior". this tells the child, i did something wrong and i have to be punished and if i good i can get it back early.
or you know, bride the kid with candy.
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| Orothe |
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Posted:
Mon Nov 10, 2008 9:56 am |
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Well, taking something away could work, but you have to stick with it, and increase the time for each offense.
Child Services are trigger happy. Not to mention they hold too much power if you ask me.
And isn't jail just a timeout? Except you get 3 meals, bed, sometimes your own room, and recess... "You killed a guy? 15 years time out!"
I'll discipline my kid(s) when the time comes. Maybe it's just this generation of teens that seem to be so spoiled?
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My Romantics shall be thy blade!!!
| Orothe wrote: |
| Beauty can only be defined as the essence you hold, and not by the appearence you give... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| A rare gem such as yourself should never be given freely to those that would otherwise tarnish such beauty... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| Promise's are just words that people cling to in hopes that they are set in stone, when in reality, are as flexible as the air itself that carried those very words... |
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| Hellmouth |
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Posted:
Mon Nov 10, 2008 3:36 pm |
Golden Chocobo
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| Orothe wrote: |
| I'll discipline my kid(s) when the time comes. Maybe it's just this generation of teens that seem to be so spoiled? |
This.
My Great Grandfather said my Grandfathers generation was spoiler,Grandfathers generation said my Dads generation was spoiled and so on.
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| pinataheart |
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Posted:
Mon Nov 10, 2008 5:40 pm |
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| seifer wrote: |
honestly, spankings and timeouts are pretty silly. you jsut take something away for a period. like the tv privliges. kids today watch tv a lot i would imagine, way more than i did as a kid so take it away for a day or a weekend and after a while, "give it back to them early for "good behavior". this tells the child, i did something wrong and i have to be punished and if i good i can get it back early.
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Spankings should be for severe disobedience only, and no child should be punished AT ALL until they are at least 1 year of age, because until that time, they will not understand, and are relying solely on instinct to function.
Never let them out on good behavior. NEVER. You must be consistent in what you say you will do and what you do. If you say one week, it has to be a week. No more, no less. Time outs are EXTREMELY effective because of the way the child's mind works, especially around the age of 1-6. A child should not be spanked during this time, as they will only comprehend that you are hurting them, not that you are punishing them, also, this is the time where the child's personality is developing, and you do not want that to be part of their development. Once they become 7, their cognitive skills begin forming, and they will know how silly it is. It is that time that you need to start taking things away as punishment, and be consistent, regardless of how old the child becomes. Corporal punishment will be understood from 7 onward, but, as previously said, this should be for severe problems in action only. This is not because of the risk of abusing the child, as that isn't measured by frequency, but by severity, including the severity of language used while punishing a child. The reason corporal punishment should not be used frequently is because the child will begin to lose fear of spankings. Spankings should be stopped as soon as the child becomes so old that you must try to cause harm in order to punish them; at this time not only will it not work, but they are also of an age that they could quite possibly inflict just as much or more harm to you; and, as a parent, you should not want your child to come to harm. Spankings should be reserved for if children do something that could literally cause them to die. IE Running out into the street, insulting a dangerous looking person or group, etc.
If someone is inadequately raised, a person can be reformed given the proper care.
All information brought to you by a General Psychology course in Northeast Mississippi Community College, which uses information that is recognized worldwide in the Psychological community, and these things are agreed upon regardless of which perspective a psychologist focuses on.
| seifer wrote: |
| or you know, bride the kid with candy |
Bribing a child with candy never works. If a child does a wrong action, and you give them candy and tell them to never do it again to get the bribe again, even BEFORE their cognitive functions kick in because food is a primary reinforcer, and therefore an instictive thing to try for.
If you were to reward a child for not doing anything bad for a while by giving them candy, then I would understand. (Set up a day of week, or month, depending on your taste, and say that if they were good until that time, they will get candy on that day.) This will only work for children 7 and older, however.
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| Orothe |
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Posted:
Mon Nov 10, 2008 10:46 pm |
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I sorta agree, but I think physical harm does more than ya think. It is "self-preservation", an instinct. If a child feels pain when it does a wrong action, it will not want to do that action again. However, that prays on fear as discipline, which is wrong if it gets too far.
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My Romantics shall be thy blade!!!
| Orothe wrote: |
| Beauty can only be defined as the essence you hold, and not by the appearence you give... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| A rare gem such as yourself should never be given freely to those that would otherwise tarnish such beauty... |
| Orothe wrote: |
| Promise's are just words that people cling to in hopes that they are set in stone, when in reality, are as flexible as the air itself that carried those very words... |
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| pinataheart |
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Posted:
Tue Nov 11, 2008 6:28 pm |
Ultima Weapon
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Not until age 1 has that instinct been developed. At lower than age 1, a child is purely dependent on its caregivers. From ages 1-6, sure, they will not do the action again, and know that it is wrong to do it. HOWEVER, they will NOT understand that you are doing that to keep them from doing a wrong action, only that you are hurting them because they did that action: THEY WON'T RECOGNIZE THEIR ACTION AS WRONG, JUST UNSAFE WHILE YOU ARE AROUND.
But at ages 7 and up, it is perfectly fine to spank a child, in moderation.
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I've said it once before, and I'll say it again, the world really needs more people like you. |
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