| dark but good...
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 teardrop17 |
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Posted:
Thu Aug 09, 2007 7:40 pm |
Golden Chocobo
Age: 23
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| | | Class: | Mage Knight | | Level: | 10 |
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dark but good...
I'm already Dead
You couldn't have loved me,
u don't have the heart.
You're too weak to keep me here,
we were over from the start.
I become colder with each day,
and you become more alone.
My insides turn to gray,
yet I can't do this on my own.
I've lost the war
with vioce in my head.
You can't save me, has no one told you
that I'm already dead?
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TOFU JET AWAYYYYY!
92% of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your signature if you're one of the 8% who would be laughing your head off
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QJFXdKHcHSs"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QJFXdKHcHSs" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object> |
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| teardrop17 |
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Posted:
Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:02 pm |
Golden Chocobo
Age: 23
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Posts: 2,597
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Karma: 288
Location: Bainbridge
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58 Gil
| | | Class: | Mage Knight | | Level: | 10 |
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read plz
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TOFU JET AWAYYYYY!
92% of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your signature if you're one of the 8% who would be laughing your head off
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QJFXdKHcHSs"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QJFXdKHcHSs" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object> |
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| Trooper |
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Posted:
Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:10 pm |
Avalanche Member
Age: 34
Joined: 10 Sep 2005
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Location: the great state of denial
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nice! i see a hook developing in that last stanza. the lyrical rhythm is there, but it needs closure. hope ya don't think I'm to critical tho, i like it!
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From the windows! to the walls!
| FuNEnD3R wrote: |
| Trooper has been appointed Secretary of Curses effective January 20th, 2009. |
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| teardrop17 |
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Posted:
Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:32 pm |
Golden Chocobo
Age: 23
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Posts: 2,597
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Karma: 288
Location: Bainbridge
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58 Gil
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i meant it to leave you hanging. ^^
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TOFU JET AWAYYYYY!
92% of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your signature if you're one of the 8% who would be laughing your head off
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QJFXdKHcHSs"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QJFXdKHcHSs" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object> |
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| elephant_lost |
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Posted:
Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:48 pm |
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What can I say?
Beautiful as always tear.
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| teardrop17 |
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Posted:
Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:20 pm |
Golden Chocobo
Age: 23
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Posts: 2,597
Liked Posts: 0
Karma: 288
Location: Bainbridge
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58 Gil
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thank you, thank you. *bows*
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TOFU JET AWAYYYYY!
92% of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your signature if you're one of the 8% who would be laughing your head off
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QJFXdKHcHSs"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QJFXdKHcHSs" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object> |
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| Smile |
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Posted:
Fri Aug 10, 2007 10:08 am |
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I think u should be a mod in the poetry and lyricisim section . ^^
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| teardrop17 |
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Posted:
Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:12 am |
Golden Chocobo
Age: 23
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
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Karma: 288
Location: Bainbridge
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58 Gil
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really? wow. I wonder how I would do that?
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TOFU JET AWAYYYYY!
92% of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your signature if you're one of the 8% who would be laughing your head off
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QJFXdKHcHSs"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QJFXdKHcHSs" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object> |
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| Gatefold |
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Posted:
Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:31 am |
New Fan
Joined: 11 Jan 2009
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wow, nice, i really liked this, it would fit perfect in some type of song, the lyrical content is good, if were just longer it would make a perfect song, not sure if thats wat u attended to do, but, sounds good, like it. 
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| slayk-slayk |
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Posted:
Tue Jan 13, 2009 7:23 pm |
The Specialist
Age: 17
Joined: 24 Sep 2006
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Location: ottawa
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wow thats awsome! I agree with Gatefold it would perfect as a song!
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visit http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=P9jG-0BNe-s&feature=channel_page
to see how much i suck at guitar! ( guitar was out of tune and i was nervous but usually i am a bit better i think meh)
if the link doesnt work just check my profile on youtube its wirlwindemo ( wirl win demo) |
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