(this may come across ass confusing to you..but this is an argument between me and god.......about the curse i went trhough.the * i went trhough growin up and being sick of it...if you understand what it means...let me know lmao....)
The Convo part 1
[Blackjack]
Im sick of the pain,
Sick of the stress.
Sick of living in sorrow,
Sick of being a mess.
Always searching,
For something bigger.
Now I got the gun to my temple,
And Im pullin the trigger.
BANG!
My body grows colder,
No longer will I have to carry,
The weight of the world on my shoulder.
Wait,
Why...why wont I die.
Why dammit why,
Why am I still alive.
I know it happend,
I should be dead.
I know i put that f`ckin bullet,
Directly Into my head.
[God]
Forgive me,
Son of mine.
You cant die now,
For its not your time.
[Blackjack]
SHUT UP,
Dont call me your son.
You have no right talkin to me,
After what you have done!
[God]
I put you through hell,
Yes thats true.
Cody..it was ment to make a man,
Out of what was left of you.
You faught a war,
Painted the streets red.
Its all in the past now,
Just memories in your head.
[blackjack]
AHHH you say you wanted a MAN,
But you made a MONSTER instead!
[God]
Please Cody,
Listen to my words.
They will clear what I have done for you,
Your sight no longer blurred.........
[Blackjack]
F`CK YOU!
Im full of FRUSTRATION,
To much hate inside,
To hear your explanation.
So this begains the end,
OF this conversation........
NO GOD,
Would put his people in pain like this.
SO through these EYES,
Your ASS DONT EXIST....
SO shut up,
Dont even explain....
If I hear your f`ckin voice again,
I SWEAR ill bash in your brain.......
You struck me down dammit,
STUCK me WITH a CURSE.....
IM F`CKIN PISSED GOD,
Bout to hit you where it hurts......
Before it gets worse....
I suggest you get out of my face!
Im f`ckin pissed and about to set blaze to this f`ckin place!....
[God]
I can help you,
Make you fallow your nose......
[Blackjack]
I REFUSE TO ACCEPT CONTRADICTING ADVICE,
FROM A F`CKING GHOST.
The more you talk,
The more I hate.
I refuse to accept words from the fake,
Tryin to tell me somethin about fate........
[god]
I will return someday.....
[Blackjack]
Then i suggest you stay the f`ck outta my way......
very emotional...and written in an interesting way...convo with a god...and what is even more interesting you pictured god like he was someone below you..i mean it gives me a feeling like he should apologize to you, you know...which is quite "funny" when you think of it cause christianity puts god in the highest position and that we all should fear his might and this crap...but i belive you're an atheist right? so its no prob for you to picture god like he was actually wrong...i like that idea
shiva
Posted:
Sat Nov 25, 2006 7:36 am
Avalanche Member
Age: 20
Joined: 21 May 2006
Posts: 2,182
Liked Posts: 0
Karma: 331
Location: in my own twisted mind mwuhahaha
That may just be because you are the head of the Funender Garden, and I played 2 professor characters, so you seem like my boss now permanently in my mind. XD
[ there is alot of censored words in this poem............so for every * there is supost to be the F word ]
A Girl and Her Unborn Child
A broken girl,
And her unborn child.
Walks in my mind,
My thoughs go wild.
She looked so familiar,
When I seen her face.
Shes havin a baby,
And the father wasnt in his place.
I grew angry,
The hate over powered.
The man walked out on his family!
What a * COWARD!
Bailin out on a family,
Is a terriable decission.
Where the * is he now,
* around with other women?
Such a * up crime,
Breakin all the man laws.
I wanna find this mother *,
And cut off his * balls.
She seems like a strong lady,
Tough to the bone.
Holding her love in her belly,
Shes ready to do this alone.
Its been over 2 years now,
Sence I said * the world.
My doors have been unlocked,
And opened for this girl......
Over 2 years passed sence I was Imprissoned,
Locked in my own lonely hell.
Over 2 years passed,
Sence I locked myself in this cell.
Im free again,
Im back on earth.
3 months are left,
Before this babys birth.
I been thinking for days now,
All day and all night.
What give me this motivation,
To turn wrong to right?
I KNOW NOTHING,
NOT A DAMN THING!
Yet the thoughts of this girl,
Still flood in my brain.
I make a rope of my words,
And I wanna pull it.
I wanna tell her whats goin on in my head,
But I bite the bullet.
I look into those eyes,
Such * beautiful eyes.
My minds workin overtime,
Then it hits me with a surprise.
Tellin me to quit this thinkin,
And do what the real me would do.
Help this beautiful lady,
Fill that cowards shoes.
They tell me I dont belong,
They tell me its not my place.
They tell me it carrys his blood,
The child will have his face.
Thats not my * thoughts,
Im not that rash.
I cant let her do this alone,
And that baby not have a dad.
Of course i know,
The baby dont have my bloodline.
But if you think that would make me look different,
Then your out of your * mind.
I wanna help this beautiful women,
MY feeling is all I trust.
I wanna help suport her in this story,
Get 2 jobs if i must.
I know what your thinkin,
Cuz im thinkin it too.
"God dammit,
Whats wrong with you."
I know you dont get it,
I know you dont understand.
But im as real as it gets,
Im a real * man.
For some reason,
Im drawn to it.
Shes ready to go on her own,
But Im afraid I cant let her do it.
I dont know what my hearts feeling,
To find out, is what Im hope'n.
So i shall sit alone,
And figure out how I obtained such an emotion.
So many thoughts for this child,
And this beautiful girl.
I wanna know why,
My hearts tellin me to give her the world.
as to the poem itself, you sound so confused but yet so sure...like you're struggling with your old you and the new one...you know i think there is a reason why you changed...you obviously weren't happy with the way you were before...if you're not happy with yourself either, change again...
i think one cannot go back totally to his old himself cause if you change, you learn new things you never knew before..and when you try to go back, you can't, cause you already know new things which you can't throw away so easily cause they became a part of you...so its just another change which may be similar to your old you...but its only your another new face
Yeah...............its just hittin me hard......cuz its been so long sence i felt liek this, so long sence i felt like me again.....guess it confuses me, and also puts fear in me......cuz i dont wanna feel this way and then end up being traped back into what i was be4......dont wanna loose this again
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