The Erotic Adventures Of Hojo (Poem)

Many many moons ago, I wrote this in school as a joke I just read it again and thought I should post!

The Erotic Adventures of Hojo

There I stood, in the Northern Cave,
Thinking what a nice venue, it would be, to have a rave,
Yet then, who should come poncing in?
But Scientist Hojo, his hair wearing thin,
His face was bloody, coat tattered and torn,
And under his arm, was a huge stack of porn.

I looked at him mortified, and one part disgust,
He glared at me slyly, arms tired from lust,
A stain on his trousers, a glint in his eye,
Then what he began to do, would bring tears to your eyes.
He dropped his garments, stood nude as at birth,
Then questioned me slowly, "What do you think of the girth?".

I was awestruck with horror, I made quick to flee,
Whilst frisky young Hojo, was squealing with glee,
I returned to my hometown,
And went to the papers,
His scandal revealed, he was jailed a month later.

And whilst in his cell, watching Palmer drop soap,
Pervert Hojo hung himself, from the end of a rope,
"A great loss to science! A waste of a brain!"
His critics did mourn, lost hope and disdain.

No more shall Hojo taint the world with his pearly white splooge.